THE FLEET FOX

A Good Work

Genesis 2:15

The LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. [emphasis mine]

Nicholas L. Laning

Last night, Kathleen and I went to see the movie Hugo.  The main character, Hugo, is an orphan who lives in a train station in Paris in the 40s.  A recurring theme of the movie is Hugo comparing humans to machines.  He talks about how broken machines make him sad, which is why he so wants to fix them.  He compares himself and others to broken machines, needing to figure out how to become unbroken, so that they may function, work, as intended.

Every time Hugo talked about needing to find a work, I would give Kathleen a playful nudge with my elbow.  This is because work has been on my heart and mind.  My soul longs for a work.  Now, when I say a work, I don't mean a job.  Anyone can get a job.  What I yearn for is layered. 

I want to get paid to use my skills to minister to people.  I can't get over it.  Now, ministry scares me to death, and you know what?  I think that is a very good thing, because I am going to be honest.  Not many things scare me in this life, because my heart struggles to attach to things.  Call it the lingering effects of my depression.  It scares me, because it means something to me.  I cannot escape it.

In all of this waiting, I have sometimes been tempted to just think that I am not supposed to minister.  I should just pick some career and go, something to allow me to buy a house, to afford trips, even give generously.  I yearn for all those things, but I cannot escape the draw on my heart. 

So, that is my prayer, and I hope that you will join me this prayer, that God will grant me a work.  The short term plan is to get certified to teach high school, though I don't know in what I am to get certified.  Photography, History, English, Journalism...??? I don't know.

Long term, I still long to minister full time.  I don't know what exactly that means, I just know I can't escape it.  I don't want to escape it.  The work God has put in my heart is out there, and I am here to persevere for it.  God is good, I can't imagine spending my days not telling others about Him, counseling them, loving them. Until then, I feel myself to be a broken machine, not functioning as intended.