Are Short Lives Incomplete Lives?

"He left us too soon."

"She was robbed of life early."

"His story was cut short."

Almost every time, maybe every time, someone young dies some form of the above notions get tossed about.  Death is always hard for us mortals, as it should be.  Death's permanency is surely horrifying.  Yet, we seem to have formed some sort of unspoken gradient by which we feel we can measure the completeness of a person's life, and thereby we can also judge the level of tragedy that goes along with that death. 

If someone is a hundred, and they die, we don't even bat an eye.  We marvel at their age.  We say, "Well done."  Some might even say, "I hope I don't live that long."  Most of us nowadays see the eighties as expected.  Reach eighty and all bets are off.  We'll shed a tear for you, but you've gotten your due.  Sixties are when things start to hurt, where the questions start.  Someone dies in their sixties and we can't help but wonder why they didn't make eighty.  There is a sense of loss, of tragedy, but at least there is the notion that they lived somewhat.  Children were probably had, maybe grand kids.  Not a total loss.  If someone is thirty and dies, we are floored.  Twenties, we're gutted.  Teens and below, forget it.  Our minds don't even know how to handle it.  

When people die young, we feel they have been robbed.  So short was their life.  So little did they experience.  So much more was left for them to do and see and feel.  The loss is overwhelming to us.  It is not just for ourselves we mourn, but mostly for them.  We view their lives as tragedy.

Question is, "Is a short story an incomplete story?"

 Absolutely not.

Go read the story, "To Build a Fire," by Jack London.  It is a literary masterpiece.  You will be moved.  You will torn.  You'll feel elation.  You'll feel loss.  All of that, and the story is only fifteen pages long.  That's it.  

Compare that with a Harry Potter novel or one of the Lord of the Rings books.  Those are hundreds and hundreds of pages each.  Thousands of pages to complete the story of each series.  Yet here we have "To Build a Fire" at fifteen pages, and it is a masterpiece.  It does not need anything else to tell it's story.  As a matter of fact, more might even ruin the story.  It's brevity is part of it's power.  We've seen it again and again, particularly in movies, where a beloved short film is taken and extended, only to show us just how perfect the story was in it's short form.  Adding things simply ruined the story.

Now, let's read this:

All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
(Psalm 139:16)

Do you see what I see?  Our days are ordained.  For those who don't know what ordained means, it means numbered, given, set up.  Not only that, but they were so before we even were! With that in mind, there is no such thing as a life cut short.  No one has been robbed of life early.  There is an author, and he doesn't make mistakes.  Every life ends exactly when it should.  

This doesn't mean we don't hurt.  We do, but for us.  We hurt because we miss those who have gone before.  BUT, the beauty is that we are now free to see the beauty in those lives.  We need not feel they were robbed of life. There lives were masterpieces, written by the ultimate author.  Sometimes those stories leave us sad, much like "To Build a Fire," but they are still masterpieces.  They still move us.  They are still complete.  There are long lives that end sad too.   Long life is a good thing.  We know this.  But, let us no longer judge the lives  of those whom have lived briefly as lesser works.  It may feel like we are sticking up for them, like we are for them, but we disrespect their lives.  It would be like judging "To Build a Fire," not based upon its prowess as a literary work, but simply for its length. 

This way we get to revel in the beauty of a short life.  We get to take it in.  Yes, it leaves us wanting more.  All stories do.  Yet, we will be revering the beauty of the work, and respecting that life as we should.  That is the real way to honor those whose lives have ended in youth.

Where was God in Aurora? ...and other Questions.

Nicholas L. Laning

Where was God in Aurora?  So big has this question been that the other day cnn.com had an article with that question as it's main story.  So many people wonder, "what happened?"  And I understand the question.  Everyone has wrestled with this question, and we don't come up with the same answers.

Where do we get the idea that God is good, loving?

I am going to lay one truth down.  God's being loving and evil's existence is not incompatible at all.  Think about the fact that you got the idea that God is loving from the Bible.  You may think it is universal.  It isn't.  It is Judeo-Christian.  Most eastern religions don't have a god at all.  There is either illusion, or nothingness, or something else, but no god.  Hinduism has millions of gods, but they are all a part of the illusion of life.  They aren't a loving supreme being.  So, you are getting your idea of God being loving from Judaism and Christianity.  It is not an innate belief.  If it were, it would have played itself out in other cultures.  God being loving is very unique, not common.

Must a supreme being be loving?

No.  A supreme being doesn't have to be loving.  I am not talking about the Bible.  I am simply saying that something could have created everything and not be loving.  They do not have to go hand in hand at all.  That is illogical.  That is like saying that everyman that walks through the door will be able to whistle Dixie.  What does whistling have to do with walking through a door?  Nothing.  A man CAN walk through a door and whistle Dixie, but it isn't necessary.  Neither is necessary for a being be able to create our universe and have to love.  It is simply that Judeo-Christian influence you have if you feel that way.  You may not like it, but it is true.

So, we get our idea of God being loving from the Bible.  Does it then say suffering isn't real?

Umm, no.  Not even close.  You could pretty much take a Bible in your hand, close you eyes, open the Bible to a random page, and you will find suffering, probably a lot of it.  Read Job.  Job didn't even do anything wrong, and God allowed him to suffer.  Moses, David, Noah, Adam, every prophet, everybody in the Bible suffered.  Matter of fact, most of the Bible is about how to deal with suffering.  Think about that now.  This is the same book that gave you the idea of God being loving.  So, the same book says that God is loving also says that suffering is very, very real.  So then, God's idea of love includes allowing suffering.  Is that illogical?  Nope, and we know it.  Suffering can exist with love. 

Is it possible for suffering to exist with a loving God?

It isn't illogical for God to be loving and allow pain.  It is simply unpleasant.  We just don't like it, and as much as we like to think of ourselves as rational, we are prone to believe with our feelings.  If we don't like it, we don't WANT to believe it.  This is why when a MAN goes into a room and shoots people we get mad at God.  We don't want it to be about man.  If it is about man, it could then be about us, and we want to believe we are awesome.  We ain't.  All of history speaks volumes about how not awesome we are.  We think that because we haven't killed someone that we are good.  Never mind that we are selfish, greedy, prideful, arrogant, etc. etc.

Even if it is logically coherent for suffering to exist in world created by a God who is loving, why did that God choose to do things this way?

I don't know.  I have about eight different theories as to what the answer could be, but they are just that... guesses.  In the end, what we take heart in is that the God of the Bible, unlike any other deity ever put forward, took part in our suffering.  Think about that.  God allows evil, allows suffering to exist, but He did not stay up in the heavens and laugh from a distance.  He became man, and took on more suffering than you or I have.  He was tortured on our behalf.  That is loving.  He delved into the pain, and thus proved that pain can exist, and that He is still loving.

 If not God, then what?

This is where most people I have seen fall short.  We don't like what God has chosen to do, so we choose to reject Him.  However, it is very rare to ask the question, then what?  Judaism and Islam both have suffering and a loving God.  You can't get away form that there.  Eastern religions don't have a loving god, usually not a god at all.  There is justice.  Most run to atheism.  Question... if matter is all that is, then what is evil?  The answer is nothing.  Evil is just another chemical reaction.  Your "life" is nothing but matter trying to stay in a certain form.  There is nothing transcendent, nothing eternal about evil.  The shootings in Aurora, Colorado are nothing more than a chemical and physical reaction.  Does that sound better?  Does that comfort you?  Is that freeing?  It is truly awful.  It is the death of anything transcendent, the death of justice.  The death of love.  All is simply chemical.

How do you come to peace with God and evil?

Read the Bible.  If you read the Bible, you will cease to be surprised by evil's existence, as it is everywhere.  You will see that judging God on being hypocritical can only be done by rejecting His own description of Himself.  If you do that then you have to realize that you are getting your ideas of God from somewhere else, and you cannot judge the God of the Bible with the Bible.

Here are two pieces of scripture to leave you with...

Job 7:1-21

1 "Has not man a hard service on earth, and are not his days like the days of a hired hand? 2 Like a slave who longs for the shadow, and like a hired hand who looks for his wages, 3 so I am allotted months of emptiness, and nights of misery are apportioned to me. 4 When I lie down I say, 'When shall I arise?' But the night is long, and I am full of tossing till the dawn. 5 My flesh is clothed with worms and dirt; my skin hardens, then breaks out afresh. 6 My days are swifter than a weaver's shuttle and come to their end without hope. 7 "Remember that my life is a breath; my eye will never again see good. 8 The eye of him who sees me will behold me no more; while your eyes are on me, I shall be gone. 9 As the cloud fades and vanishes, so he who goes down to Sheol does not come up; 10 he returns no more to his house, nor does his place know him anymore. 11 "Therefore I will not restrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul. 12 Am I the sea, or a sea monster, that you set a guard over me? 13 When I say, 'My bed will comfort me, my couch will ease my complaint,' 14 then you scare me with dreams and terrify me with visions, 15 so that I would choose strangling and death rather than my bones. 16 I loathe my life; I would not live forever. Leave me alone, for my days are a breath. 17 What is man, that you make so much of him, and that you set your heart on him, 18 visit him every morning and test him every moment? 19 How long will you not look away from me, nor leave me alone till I swallow my spit? 20 If I sin, what do I do to you, you watcher of mankind? Why have you made me your mark? Why have I become a burden to you? 21 Why do you not pardon my transgression and take away my iniquity? For now I shall lie in the earth; you will seek me, but I shall not be." 

Romans 5:12-18

12 Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned-- 13 for sin indeed was in the world before the law was given, but sin is not counted where there is no law. 14 Yet death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over those whose sinning was not like the transgression of Adam, who was a type of the one who was to come. 15 But the free gift is not like the trespass. For if many died through one man's trespass, much more have the grace of God and the free gift by the grace of that one man Jesus Christ abounded for many. 16 And the free gift is not like the result of that one man's sin. For the judgment following one trespass brought condemnation, but the free gift following many trespasses brought justification. 17 For if, because of one man's trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ. 18 Therefore, as one trespass led to condemnation for all men, so one act of righteousness leads to justification and life for all men. 


Hopefully this has found you well.  I am not perfect.  I am fallen.  My heart's desire is to share the love of Christ with you.  If I have not done that, then please write me and admonish me. 

Proximity Matters

This last Saturday, my Nanna (grandmother on my Dad's side) died.  She was ninety-one years old.  It has been an interesting week inside my heart.  I have already expressed much of that, and don't care to rehash.  I would like to talk about something that applies to us all.  It is a discovery.  It is hardly new, but is something that has been refreshed for me. 

Proximity matters.  It makes a difference.  I have tried long and hard to fight this idea.  In my mind, I have tried to hold onto the notion that people you love just dwell inside you, and with that logic, should be able to feel their presence at all times.  This is simply not true. 

Once someone becomes a part of your heart, a part of your being, they are forever embedded into your soul.  They become a piece of you. 

My mistake was in thinking this would make things easier.  I can carry them with me wherever I go.  It is a mistake, at least in part.  Proximity matters.  Now that I think about it, I don't know how it could be any other way.  If I could get the full joy of being near someone by simply placing them in my heart, then I would never need to see them again in order for that piece to remain full.  May it never be. 

I think of every time I ever went to go visit Daddy Jake and Nanna.  When I was with them, I was more alive, more real, more whole.  At first, when we'd leave, I was just sure that this new piece of me would carry on.  I would simply be new.  Usually, I didn't even make it all the way back to New Braunfels from Uvalde before I found myself feeling emptier, more diminished.  After a while I new that would happen, so I would simply dread leaving their presence.  They are a piece of me. 

Tonight we will be driving down late to be in Uvalde for Nanna's (her name is Doris, just thought you might like to know) funeral.  We will be staying in their empty house where so much of me was formed.  All the furniture is gone.  The house is sold actually, just not yet closed.  All that is left is the beds.  I will be saying goodbye to Nanna, and a huge chunk of myself that I will not get back in this lifetime. 

Proximity matters.  People can never leave your heart once they are their, but their lack of physical presence cannot be made up for by affection alone.  Like I said, then we would never need to be near anyone.  One time would be enough. 

No.  We are built to long to be near each other, to need each other, to make each other better.  We are meant to look each other in the eyes, and hear each other's voices, to feel the frequent and gentle touch of each other's hands upon the other's shoulder.  For being near, there is no substitute.

That has been one of my greatest comforts.  Yes, I will never be the same in this life.  A piece of me has died with my friend, my grandmother.  Yet, it is different this time in compared to the death of Daddy Jake.  You see, now they are together again.  only the thought of being near Jesus could be more comforting than the thought of two soul mates reunited in heaven, nothing to keep them apart.  They are no longer old and hurting.  Nanna's broken and bent body is now straight and whole.  She will speak clearly, even sing, and he will be able to hear and treasure every word for the rest of eternity.

Stained-Glass Window in the First United Methodist Church in Uvalde, Texas

Together again, redeemed and renewed.

A Semi-Harsh Mercy

Every now and then we have something happen in our lives that brings the reality of our death a little more clearly into view.  We nearly get hit by a car, we get a scary medical diagnosis, whatever.  I had something go on to today that has me thinking about it a bit, and not just with my head, like usual, but with my heart.

I have been thinking about how much I will miss (and experience, we never think about what we are currently missing out on in heaven).  It is the small things that come to mind, things like, how if i were to die today, I would miss out on Bon Iver's third album.  I wouldn't know who the next Best Picture winner is.  I would have experienced my last night poorly, as I drank too much tea too late, and couldn't stop thinking about Light Blue, and what needs to be done for it to be what it needs to be.  I would not have completed Light Blue for that matter, and would only hope that Kathleen, Jason, Chelsea, and J Lew would be able to finish it for me.

The more deep thoughts are the thoughts about legacy of course, of feeling like your time would be cut short.  I have already thought quite a bit about how much I could do if given the time.  Yet, I was thinking about how everyone feels this way, and that is just a part of this fallen life.  Nobody will ever reach anything near their full potential in this life.  Even those whom we think of as successful weren't, aren't, and never will be fully realized in this current life.  At first that made me sad.

The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized that I am free to just live the life I am given.  If we think of it in perspective of what we deserve, which is nothing, I have achieved much.  I have gotten to travel and enjoy much of God's creation, be married to a beautiful woman, be apart of an exceptional family, and that is just a start.  I even wrote a book, which is pretty cool.  Mostly, I have tried to love as much as I can.  I really have.  And, in light of my little scare today, all those accomplishments such as writing books, or whatever, are not nearly as dear to me as how much I have loved and been loved.

It has been a semi-harsh mercy, if you will, one whose sting I am coming to cherish for the clarity it is giving me. Though I will surely forget, and take for granted this wonderful lesson, right now I am thankful.  Thankful for so many things, not least of which, I am thankful... for you.