Someone posted Matthew 26:41 today as their status, and it rally spoke to me anew. It says that we should watch and pray that we would not enter into temptation. That the spirit is indeed willing, but that the flesh is weak.
Perhaps it is that there are so many nuances that you just are going to forget some things. They are present in your brain for a while, and they shrink until you do something that reminds you. The truth smacks you in heart. Lately, in battles, I have been all too quick to forget that there is an enemy. Sometimes, I just focus on me, fighting my flesh alone and my desire. What am I doing is not focusing on the battle that is being waged. I am not realizing it. This might not sound big, but it is. It is huge, because, if there is just us, then we are battling our desires. With Satan, then we are battling against someone else's desires too. Satan wants us with him, miserable and condemned. So, we can always know that what he sends our way is not FOR us! So often I will wonder why I so badly crave something I know to be evil when I didn't just a day earlier. A bout of arrogance will kick in, or lust, or pride, and the lies start coming, "These things will make you happy. Succumb to them." They won't. The truth will set you free, and the truth is that what God wants for us is best. Half of the things I crave in a day I hate. My spirit groans for redemption. I have experienced pieces of this in my life, and there is no comparison. Nothing is brighter. God has used people to move me and show me things I never saw before. I can never turn back, or, if I did, I would now be committing an even greater crime than before. I have felt His presence. Through a Lens I have seen so much. For those moments, when God's and my heart were most aligned, I was never happier, more fulfilled, more true, more real. This memory haunts me, and for the best.
Today I was listening to Tim Keller speak about absolutism. Part of the sermon was about people's misunderstandings of freedom. For one, freedom plays off freedom. For example, when you love someone, there is a freedom to be intimate, and to reveal your heart in a new way, but in turn you give up much other freedom. You limit yourself to that person. We have all chosen to be a part of society that has taken away our freedom to murder in order that we might enjoy the freedom that comes from the piece of mind of not fearing being murdered. You cannot be totally free in the way that people make it sound you can. Even God is not free totally. He cannot go against Himself. He cannot lie. He is holy.
Well, those are just some thoughts. I don't know what value they have. I hope my heart is heard in all of it. Sometimes I worry I am just sounding like a talking head. Perhaps I talk too much. It is just my desire to do something, to help, but perhaps I am missing the mark. May it never be. I hope you can hear my heart in it.
I was listening to this song earlier today. Actually, I was listening to a remix of the song, one of the few that I enjoy. Usually remixes are not good. I have had it replaying in my mind. It isn't where my heart is now, but conjured up some very powerful memories from a winter a few years ago when I was up in Colorado with my family. One of the loneliest times in my life. So thankful for those moments though. They bring out the change that has come to pass and make me ever thankful and hopeful for the future.
Kings of Convenience
"The Weight of My Words"
The original:
http://grooveshark.com/s/The+Weight+Of+My+Words/2wrddj?src=5
The remix:
http://grooveshark.com/s/The+Weight+Of+My+Words+four+Tet+Remix+/2AL0ci?src=5
There are very many things
I would like to say to you,
But i've lost my way
And I've lost my words.
There are very many places
I would like to go
But I can't find the key
To open my door.
The weight of my words-
You can't feel it anymore.
The weight of my words-
You can't feel it anymore.
Perhaps it is that there are so many nuances that you just are going to forget some things. They are present in your brain for a while, and they shrink until you do something that reminds you. The truth smacks you in heart. Lately, in battles, I have been all too quick to forget that there is an enemy. Sometimes, I just focus on me, fighting my flesh alone and my desire. What am I doing is not focusing on the battle that is being waged. I am not realizing it. This might not sound big, but it is. It is huge, because, if there is just us, then we are battling our desires. With Satan, then we are battling against someone else's desires too. Satan wants us with him, miserable and condemned. So, we can always know that what he sends our way is not FOR us! So often I will wonder why I so badly crave something I know to be evil when I didn't just a day earlier. A bout of arrogance will kick in, or lust, or pride, and the lies start coming, "These things will make you happy. Succumb to them." They won't. The truth will set you free, and the truth is that what God wants for us is best. Half of the things I crave in a day I hate. My spirit groans for redemption. I have experienced pieces of this in my life, and there is no comparison. Nothing is brighter. God has used people to move me and show me things I never saw before. I can never turn back, or, if I did, I would now be committing an even greater crime than before. I have felt His presence. Through a Lens I have seen so much. For those moments, when God's and my heart were most aligned, I was never happier, more fulfilled, more true, more real. This memory haunts me, and for the best.
Today I was listening to Tim Keller speak about absolutism. Part of the sermon was about people's misunderstandings of freedom. For one, freedom plays off freedom. For example, when you love someone, there is a freedom to be intimate, and to reveal your heart in a new way, but in turn you give up much other freedom. You limit yourself to that person. We have all chosen to be a part of society that has taken away our freedom to murder in order that we might enjoy the freedom that comes from the piece of mind of not fearing being murdered. You cannot be totally free in the way that people make it sound you can. Even God is not free totally. He cannot go against Himself. He cannot lie. He is holy.
Well, those are just some thoughts. I don't know what value they have. I hope my heart is heard in all of it. Sometimes I worry I am just sounding like a talking head. Perhaps I talk too much. It is just my desire to do something, to help, but perhaps I am missing the mark. May it never be. I hope you can hear my heart in it.
I was listening to this song earlier today. Actually, I was listening to a remix of the song, one of the few that I enjoy. Usually remixes are not good. I have had it replaying in my mind. It isn't where my heart is now, but conjured up some very powerful memories from a winter a few years ago when I was up in Colorado with my family. One of the loneliest times in my life. So thankful for those moments though. They bring out the change that has come to pass and make me ever thankful and hopeful for the future.
Kings of Convenience
"The Weight of My Words"
The original:
http://grooveshark.com/s/The+Weight+Of+My+Words/2wrddj?src=5
The remix:
http://grooveshark.com/s/The+Weight+Of+My+Words+four+Tet+Remix+/2AL0ci?src=5
There are very many things
I would like to say to you,
But i've lost my way
And I've lost my words.
There are very many places
I would like to go
But I can't find the key
To open my door.
The weight of my words-
You can't feel it anymore.
The weight of my words-
You can't feel it anymore.
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