Friday, May 27, 2011

Depression: Just Get Over It?

Looking back at my own battle and now listening with others battle depression, this has been a massively recurring story.  This may be the most common response to someone who is depressed sharing their struggle for the first time.  No.  Now that I think about it, acting as if nothing had been said is the most common response by far.  You tell someone you are struggling with this immense pain, and they say something like, "Ah," or "Bummer, well, let's go get some tacos."

Yet, after straight up ignoring what was said, the second most common I have encountered is simply, "Get over it."  It has amazed me at how many people respond to someone reaching out for help with anger.  I don't know if it is that they are scared?  Maybe they think depression isn't real, and that the struggler is simply "in a funk" and that they need to just move on.

At first, I used to think that maybe it made a difference if Depression is basically a spiritual problem with physical consequences or a physical problem with spiritual consequences.

If it is the latter, then we feel more gracious.  Example, when someone is sick, we give them not only physical grace, but spiritual as well, for we know that pain makes effects us spiritually.  We say and think things we usually wouldn't.  Yet, people understand this.

If it is the former, then we feel more power to simply say, "just stop it!  This moping thing is getting really annoying!"  (shockingly, this has happened)  It seems as if we think that if the root is spiritual, we should simply be able to alter it.  Yet, why would we think this?  It is far easier to change the physical.  We know, as believers in Christ Jesus, that apart from the grace of God, we would not seek God.  We are completely incapable of changing ourselves.  All change comes from grace!  Period.  It is plain as day.  God tells us our task is but to share the gospel.  We tell people that Jesus lived a perfect life in our stead, then died in our stead, and has risen from the grave, and that those follow Him will be saved.  After that, it is up to the Holy Spirit to move the heart.  I have seen amazing sermons fall flat against hard hearts, and bumbling, broken, fear filled talks change peoples lives forever.

Matthew 7:3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Take the struggle of depression.  It is just like any other struggle.  Ask yourself, "What is my struggle?"  Is it lust, greed, idolatry of some sort, selfishness, anger?  Then ask yourself, "Can I just 'stop it'?"  You know the answer is no.  If you could, you would.  Our old nature will always battle with our new one, until we die.  Paul, toward the end of his life, called himself the "Chief of Sinners" and lamented about how he kept doing things he hated.  This is Paul speaking.  Are you better than Paul?

Depression is a small taste of hell on Earth, and it is very real.  Thirty million people in America alone aren't faking it.  I struggled for over a decade to be brought out of it.  Don't you think I would have stopped had I been able?  If you think I did it for attention or sympathy maybe, let me tell you how I was treated.  There was almost zero sympathy.  My own brother thought I was faking for the first year.  It took that long for him to be convinced.  I shared my pain rarely, and the few times I did, it was a nightmare.  There were very few people who actually had room in their hearts for my pain.  They have an eternal place of honor in my heart, though they might not even know it.

Just think, you could be that for somebody in your life. You could be the one person who has room for their pain, who doesn't ignore it, but you could live out  Romans 12:15 "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep."  Love them by understanding that their pain is real.  You have no idea how much that would mean, just to have that!  How simply is that!?

So, let's not tell others to "Get over it," until we can get over our own sin (spoiler: you have die first).  Let us do as Peter commands us to do in 2 Peter "But Grow in grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."  Also, if I come across as if I think myself better, or if I sound condemning, I apologize.  Let me tell you that before I suffered it first hand, I can clearly remember thinking to myself, "I don't buy it," when confronted with someone telling me they were depressed.  I rejected it.  So, I am not trying to condemn but encourage.  To arm not break down.  May my words be of some value to you.  As always, take them with a grain of salt, and seek God.


2 comments:

  1. Dealing with depression is hard. I can think of a time when at a low point i confided in a friend and they said in there loving way that at the root of depression is selfishness. because who are you thinking of? you. and there advice to me was to think of someone else and/or do something for someone else. that made me more depressed. all i could think of then was how selfish i was and carried guilt... Joy in Him is our strength. That really helped me, just singing about Him. Abide.

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