If you read my blog, one of the greatest question I have been trying to answer is how do we love God? This question has been complex. I have discovered many subtleties and paradoxes, especially when it comes to people. People have been the biggest mystery to me. How do we love them?
Somewhere along the line, I found myself struggling an vain against a web of lies, that had me believing that humans were to be avoided. Sure, we were to love them, but in deed, not in heart. We were to guard our hearts. I was reminded constantly that love is a decision, that people are quick to become idols, that they will disappoint. All of these lies took on a new power behind the dark might of depression on my soul.
So, I began to make little of people, in order to make much of God, because I struggled to believe I could have a powerful affection for God. If God were o be first, I had to start hacking other things down, because elevating him wasn't going to happen. And, in a way, I was right. Save for the grace of God, and the movement of the Holy Spirit, I had no ability to love God. So, I simply knew the truth of my heart. I just underestimated the power and grace of God to change me, to soften my heart, to show me I could actually love him.
Last night, God showed me something new in this battle of mine. I was thinking about things I love, and was wondering. Do they matter themselves? Are we to see God in them? Or, are we to, as we mature in our love for Him, stop seeing them altogether? To just see Him?
That's when I had one of the those moments, where a profound truth hits you in such a way that you know it didn't come from you. You were thinking about bananas, and all of the sudden you were able to comprehend some new physical law of the universe. So it was with me last night.
What came to me was this. God's creation is all meant to point to Him, and He is the spring from which all goodness, joy, and pleasure flow. Yet, He pours Himself into that creation in a unique way, and we are intended to see Him, to joy in Him, through those unique ways.
For example, I have written a novel. I didn't create it, but I made it. If you wanted to know me, to love me, that book, Light Blue, is a unique way of doing so. I could even maybe tell you many of the things that are hidden within it in conversation. I could share my feelings with you, my thoughts. Yet, it is my deep and abiding pleasure that parts of me be discovered in this manner. You cannot know the full extent of me simply by being near me. It is my pleasure to reveal myself through drawings, music, photography, and writing.
We are those things to God. We are unique outpourings of Himself. If we want to know Him, to love Him, we are not to elevate those ways, to idolize them, but were are also not to bypass them either! Think about how amazing this is! You and I are unique outpourings of God's creativity, His power, His love! And, it is His desire, His intent, for us to see Him through each other. Why is it then that every single command about loving God is about loving people also?! Is it not?
It is, and it moves me. We are the works of His hands. Once I understand all of this, I am free to love my friends and family with as much vigor as I can handle. There is no limit, at least not set by God. My sinful heart has limits, and such is the joy of heaven, that our hearts will be made whole, capable of so much more than now. But, in the mean time, I take the reminder that we are in this half world, mixed of heaven and hell, and I am reminded of my most heavenly moments. None of them came apart from people. It is people that are to share God's word, though we are surely not needed. It is people we are meant to love, to help, to encourage. We are given gifts, and all of them are for people. God needs no teacher, no prophet, no encouragement, no service, no healing.
My heart is surely overwhelmed with gratitude at God's faithfulness. May He continue to move us, press us toward Him, and in so, to empower us to let down the walls put up by lies, and open our hearts to each other. May we remember the poor, and the sick. May our hearts pound for them. May we be moved to use those spiritual gifts for one another. May we never lose sight of God, our Father. May we remember the life lived by Christ. May we be ever thankful for the ongoing ministry of the Holy Spirit. God is surely good. Amen.
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