Couch Potato in Armor?

I Corinthians 9:22 To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. 23 I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings. 24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26 Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27 No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
  
I have been trying to prepare my heart for what is to come.  The moment that the Holy Spirit plucked the "You need to go take part in ministry" string, I have been that mix of good and bad excited.  On one hand I am eager to just see what God does.  He has been faithful to use me in weakness and in strength (sounds like a wedding vow).  On the other hand, I had become very complacent in my writing.  The voice in my head kept reveling in the brilliance of it, "I can minister to people without actually having to be around them!"  Don't judge me! (hangs head)  I know.  You're right.  It is sad that was such a tempting thought.  In reality it wore off very quickly.  

For months I have been off.  Matt Chandler speaks constantly about the infinite glory of God, and how we as Christians should always feel slightly discontented in this one area.  If Christ's beauty is infinite, why would we just stop short of desiring the fullest?.  Even if we never attain it, why would we stop trying?  Is there something better?   So, everyday as I wrote or subbed or photographed, I just felt like I had stopped fighting for more of Christ's glory.  I could see myself in my head, watching TV in a full suit of armor, sword ready at the hip, every now and then glancing at the window outside to see if there was still a battle to be fought. 

I have been afraid, but ready to battle, the fear of inviting people into my heart... strangers no less.  I think of the messiness of leadership.  I have been begging God to discipline me to give up anything that could hinder my ministry.  While I don't feel the need to be perfect by any stretch, I am  going to do my best to attain whatever it is God wants for me, and hope that He gives me the strength to do it, so the we don't look back on this little post and laugh or cry out pity.  In this spirit, things will have to change.  The desire of my heart has not changed and is razor sharp.  I will not be disqualified from the prize.


I once again apologize for being the most boring blogger... ever.