That's when I told her that the older you get, the worse that sensation gets. You have more time to love more people and places. The more you love, the more you will hurt, as you cannot be in more than one place physically. Only in our hearts can we be in more than one place. I told her how when I was in Northern Ireland I missed Texas. Now that I am in Texas, I miss Northern Ireland. It's just the way it is. At this moment, most of my best friends live very far away. New Braunfels, Nebraska, Colorado, San Fransisco, Northern Ireland... I am lucky to get to see them at all. Yet, they are more a part of my life than hundreds that I see on a regular basis. Those we love are our constant audience. They are there in our hearts cheering us on, or admonishing us to turn around.
We are always haunted, and not just by bad memories. No. The good ones haunt with a power that far surpasses the negative. They are the only reason the negative even have any sting. It is living pictures of my grandfather's face that makes his absence hurt. It is the memories of trust and laughter that make not seeing my friends and family hard. It is the twinkling memories of child hood Christmases that bring us back every year to try and recapture in some small measure the awe and wonder that filled our hearts. It is the heart bending immensity of the Ocean that I recall long after I last looked into its expanse. Same goes with the mountains surrounding Lake City. Indeed, our greatest moments, people, and places never let us go. They define us. Their very existence can cause our hearts to ache for their replication or extension. Yet, we may never score another winning touchdown, or we may never again in this life see a friend or relative, we may never return to the land of our dreams. At first this sounds sad and awful in words, but not so. Chelsea knew it. I could see the comfort and peace fall on my sisters face as I told her it was not only okay to be haunted by hard and great moments, but it was good and right, for you don't really love someone or somewhere until you hurt for them. Love is not replaceable. How awful would it be to no longer miss those people, places or moments we love? I can think of nothing more horrifying, or shallow. Expediency and emotional efficiency is for the dead.
As long as we are able to move forward in hope and courage in the Lord, and look back through His eyes, then there is no need to feel guilty for being haunted. In Randy Alcorn's book, Heaven, he talks about how this life has both elements of heaven and hell in it. Our lowest moments are the closest we will ever get to hell, and our best moments are the closest we will ever get to heaven. In light of that, how can our greatest and worst moments not haunt us, as it only makes sense to run as far away from hell and as close to heaven as we can? I know that, for me, I won't stop running from that which has brought me closest to hell, nor will I stop running toward that which has brought me closest to heaven... not until I get there.
Acts 20:24 NIV
However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the LORD Jesus has given me--the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace
2 Timothy 4:7 NIV
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith
Hebrews 12:1 NIV
[God Disciplines His Sons] Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
Awesome post, Nick. Very well said. The memories of our loved ones (here or past) help us remember why we love them. I long for the day for us to be in the same town again, but you're right, that day may never come... So we live, breathe, love, press on, and someday we'll have all the time in the world to share te memories of today in Heaven.
ReplyDelete(on my phone, or else I'd type more)