Should You Hate Your Mother?

I'll never forget the lesson I learned in my Greek class at seminary a couple years ago.  Me and my fellow seminarians were all trying to learn the Greek vocabulary we had been given.  So many of the words had multiple meanings.  The word for house would be the same as the word for helicopter.  Kidding, they didn't have helicopters.  Still, point is, we were frustrated with what we perceived to be Greek ridiculousness.  We voiced our frustration to our professor.  He responded by showing us that English, just as in every language does the same thing.  The word "pot" can mean "a clay container to hold a plant", or "a metal bowl to cook in," it can be a verb.  We can pot a plant.  It is another name for marijuana, as well, and there are more.  Not only did I learn something about definitions, but I learned that there are obvious things, things that we do, that, when other people do it, we don't see.

Comparative language in the Bible is one of those things.  What do I mean by "comparative language"?  Well, take the verse, 

Luke 14:26 "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple."  

Now, dictionary.com says that the word hate means, "to dislike intensely, feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest."  So, is God saying that you should dislike mother and father intensely?  Should you feel extreme aversion to them?  Extreme hostility?  Should you detest them?  Should I detest my wife?  Myself?

Matthew 5:43-44 "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,"  

So, okay, that is confusing.  God is telling us in one verse to hate our parents, wives, and selves, to detest them, and in the other to love our enemy?!  No, and you know it.  We all know that in the whole context of the Bible, that we are to honor our parents, to love them, to obey them.  One of the Ten Commandments is to "Honor your father and mother."

So, what is going on here?  Comparative language.  When God says, "Jacob I have loved, Esau I have hated," He isn't saying that He loathes Esau.  Ancient Hebrew used comparative language heavily.  Many ancient writings outside the Bible show this usage.  It simply means that God favored Jacob, and disfavored Esau.  Now, before we go and think the ancient Hebrews were crazy for using such strong language, I challenge you to think about our own language.  You can hear the word hate spoken all the time, and ninety percent of the time, it has nothing to do with loathing.  Usually, we mean the same thing, we disfavor it.  

> Uhh, I hate this show.

< Really, you loathe it? 

> Well, no, I don't loathe it, but I certainly don't like it.  It's not my favorite or anything.

I hear Christians use it with people, particularly "public" people like celebrities.  

> I hate Christian Bale.

< Whoa, you hate Christian Bale?  That's really strong words.  Why?

> No, I mean, I don't HATE hate him, but I just find his Batman voice really annoying.  

Unlike these examples, God made no mistake in his language.  He spoke through men, who spoke the language they spoke.  He used poetry, historic language, and more.  I think it so huge to understand the use of comparative language in the Bible, as I have seen a lot of frustration and confusion in my younger life, as well as in lives of countless others because of taking comparative language literally.  When God says to hate your father or mother, He doesn't mean period.  He is comparing to how you should love Him.  AT first you may think this weird, but honestly, apply it to your life.  

I want you to think of someone you love most dearly.  Then think about someone you love simply as a human, an acquaintance.   You like this person, you enjoy seeing them, you hope for good things for them.  Yet, in comparison with that great love in your life, how do they stack up?  Would you not easily forsake the acquaintance for your great love?  For you mother?  Father?  Best friend?  Wife?  You would and we all know it.  If not, then there is something missing in your heart.  Comparison is essential to love.  If we all loved everyone the same, then nothing would be special.  It is the rarity, the choice, the hierarchy that makes it strong.  So it is with God.  God spends almost all of the Bible trying to get you to love each other, to honor your parents, to cherish your wife, be a dutiful and true friend.  He simply wants to be on top.  

The beautiful thing about this is, He isn't asking you to love others less.  He simply wants your affections surpass that which you have for all else, including your love for yourself.  As He is infinitely wonderful, there is an infinite amount of room for your love for Him to grow.  Underneath that, that also means that, because it is through Him we love, our affection for those other things that once got in the way will grow as well, higher than when we held it as an idol.  That's how great God is.  What else, who else could be on top?


Side note, I don't want to leave anybody thinking that God never uses the word hate literally.  He does.  He hates sin outright.  In the verse above where it is says that you used to hear it, "hate your enemy," that is literal too.