THE FLEET FOX

WITH MY SHIELD OR ON IT

Nicholas L. Laning

Preacher snob.  Whenever I am looking back over the archives at the Village Church Website, I have a tendency to overlook sermons by any of the other pastors.  Yet, Tuesday, after a wonderful morning of prayer where God was really beginning to move on me, I found myself looking through the archives, and ended up clicking on a sermon given by Shea Sumlin, who was the College Pastor for Denton Bible when I was there.  God ignited the very fibers I am sewn together with.

The sermon is about how the Israelites are coming out of captivity, and are starting to rebuild the temple.  An outside force threatens them if they are going to build temple, so they quit, after only laying the foundation.  For fifteen years they worked to build their own houses.  Finally, God comes to Haggai and the discussion is not an easy one.  God tells Haggai that Israel needs to get busy about His work, busy about rebuilding His temple, regardless of the threat, the outside danger.

During that fifteen years, times were tough.  God explains that to be His doing (don't take that to mean that whenever something bad happens it is punishment.  Sometimes it is.  Sometimes it isn't.  See the book of Job, or the death of Jesus.)  In this case, God took everything.  1:9 "You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?" declares the LORD Almighty. "Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with his own house.

Here's the kicker.  There reason isn't pure fear.  It is a reasonable response.  When times have gotten tough when being busty about the Lord's work, I have used the same reason, because I felt it to be true.  Look here:  1:2 This is what the LORD Almighty says: "These people say, 'The time has not yet come for the LORD's house to be built.'"  [Emphasis Mine]  The time hasn't come!  I am going to confess that to be my thought process when times get tough, when things become difficult.  I think, Well, golly gee.  Things are getting a little difficult.  I guess it's just not God's will.  Or maybe... I am supposed to... I don't know... persevere?  Be steadfast?  Be diligent?  Have hope?  A peace that passes all understanding?  Yes to ALL!!!  

And so it is that I have been gently rebuked, as I could here the His voice telling me through the text, "You've turned your eyes toward your own comfort.  You have set your heart toward building your own little kingdom here on Earth.  You have lost your adventurous spirit, your willingness to go wherever I send you, and do whatever work I set before you.  How's that working out for you, Nicholas?"  All I can say is that I have been miserable.  My heart has not stopped aching.  My soul has been a barren landscape.  

This I know, God has put His mark on me, and here's what that means.  I can never again indulge in sin and enjoy it.  He has made my spirit hair-trigger sensitive.  Turn this way or that, and alarms start to go off.  Sometimes it takes me no time, and sometimes it takes a while before the issue at hand is revealed and dealt with.  

 God always reminds me of my most heavenly moments.  I see them, and how far away they are, and I know.  I know that I have erred, and that I need to change.  And so, my heart is redeemed again (the gospel really is an ongoing process, not a one time event).  This time, He has shown me that I need to return to His work.  Honestly, the specifics of that are yet known, but I know that I meant to make disciples, to love, to pour into others, and my leaning is still to collegians.  Amazing how, in one moment, the whole world seems bright.  I am ready for... whatever.  

My mindset isn't going to be American, where breathing is more important than honor, than dignity, than goodness, than God's will.  It is time to be Spartan about it.  Unlike Americans, the Spartan thought process was that honor, that dignity, is more important than breathing.  I recall a favorite quote from the movie, "Open Range."  Kevin Costner's character calls on the men of the town to stand up, to fight against the tyrrany of the murderous cattle barron, for what is right.  A man replies that he would, but he can't let his sons die.  Kevin Costner's character replies with this, "Some things gnaw at a man worse than death."  I have always believed that to be true, that breathing is not the most important thing, that there are reasons worth risking your life, reasons for giving your life.  So it is, that I want to live with the words of a Spartan mother ever present, echoing in my head... "Come home with your shield, or on it."  Only, it is not dignity, or pride, or anything fading and petty, but love, as poured out through the eternal goodness of the gospel of Christ, which changes hearts.