THE FLEET FOX

HYBRID
 

Nicholas L. Laning

 I am lying here on one of the beds in the back room of the ranch house, tired, and ready to go to bed as soon as I finish typing this.  I have been out here at the ranch for several weeks now helping out.  I have been guiding hunts, feeding deer, filling feeders, you name it.  When I got here I had a shadow on my face.  Now, my beard is thick.  It has been fun.  I have gotten to see the milky way, sleep outside, hunt, shoot, pet deer, and... I am ready to go home.

This is ironic, as I know that after a month in Dallas, I will inevitably yearn for the country.  That's because I am a hybrid.  Somehow, the life that God has afforded me has molded me so.  My family is sharp, intelligent, and sophisticated, yet can be downright redneck on rare occasion. I am no different.  It is surely a product of desire as well.  For some reason, I have never wanted to limit myself to one sector, to be country person who despises "them city fellers" and all it's fantsyness and such, nor have I ever wanted to be all city either.  I cringe every time I hear someone say that there is nothing to do in the country.

Somehow I have been molded to feel at home wearing camouflage or a tuxedo, going to Bass Pro Shop to buy a new fly rod or Rise No. 1 to eat Souffle in Highland Park, to listen to George Jones or the Fleet Foxes.  I don't know if it is best, but I am thankful for it.  I have enjoyed being a part of both worlds, and would hate to have missed out on either.  The change, the breadth of such a life, I think, I hope, has kept me on my toes. 

Side Note:  Please pray for me.  My heart is struggling mightily with dryness.  I know differently, but I FEEL lost, not in salvation, but just in spirit.  I feel blind and deaf.  I do not feel clear of heart.  It has been rough.  I have desperate to feel the touch of the spirit.  Surely, I am being molded.  God is faithful.  I am struggling to follow my own wisdom of living beyond what I feel.  There is the sensation that this drought of the heart is due to something I have done, as a punishment.  I know different, and am battling it, but it is rough, and exhausting me spiritually.  I covet your prayers.  You surely have mine.  Thank you for who are, and for your heart.

Don't Let is Break Your Heart

By: Coldplay

And if I lost the map
If I lost it all
Or fell into the trap
Then she'd call

When you're tired of racing
And you find you never left the start
Come on over baby
Don't let it break your heart

Though heavily we bled
Still on we crawl
Try to catch a cannonball
And a slowly burning tide

Through my veins it's flowing
From my shipwreck I heard her call
And she sang

When you're tired of aiming your arrows,
Still you never hit the mark
Even in your rains and shadows
Still we're never gonna part

Come on over baby

Don't let it brake your heart
Don't let it break your heart
Don't let it break your heart