Writing about depression. The decision.

Now that my first novel, Light Blue, is almost finished, I have been beginning to think about what to write next.  For years I have been talking about writing about my battle with depression.  Time and again God brings it to me, depression, in others.  I am honored to be helpful in any way I can.  Time and again people ask me to write about my experience, to encourage others.  But, here is the truth.  I am terrified.  Even with the distance I now have, I can only handle so much being in it.  This tells me why there are no books written by people who have survived it.  I used to wonder.  Now I don't so much.  The scars recede but never fully fade.  I keep trying, but whenever I invest in it, when I let it soak in, I change.  I start to fade a little.  After focusing on other things, it changes, and I come back.  So, I don't know what to do.  I want to help.  I want to share.  Maybe I'll have to pull a C.S. Lewis when he wrote the Screwtape Letters.  He wrote it in seven days due to the nature of the book.  I really don't know.  My heart is torn.  I want to tell it.  I want to do something, anything to help others fight the fight.  I hate depression.  I HATE IT, and I have tools to fight it.  I have fought it, and due to the grace of God, I am victorious.  But, I am scared, and rightly so.  So, I need your prayers.  I need courage.  All glory be to God.  I will do whatever He wants.  Amen.