I say the main reason, because there are many, mainly, that I have not been thus far called to do so. That's a pretty good reason.
But, this comes to me all the time because this is how I process things. If I have thoughts in my head, I process them by imagining having to speak them in public. The pressure is clarifying, that you would have to make clear what God says is a scary proposal! Right? It is. I am actually not scared (relatively speaking) scared of talking in public. Yet, I have a big reason why I would fear preaching. HA!
The main reason is because I don't think I couldn't cuss while doing so. I know, I know. I write all of this very pure sounding stuff, but don't let that fool you. I have stated once, and will do so again, that I those are excerpts, highly edited and thought out. I am a fallen person just like everyone else. Hallelujah! I have been saved because I am awful, not because I was good.
So, whenever I preach or teach in my head (as a means of processing), I say things no pastor could EVER say. I do it before I even no I have in my mind. I can just imagine myself up there trying to teach someone about the gospel, it gets to some part where admonishment is needed and I say, "Just #$^%$^ stop it." Tactful right? (Moron) Or talking about some false doctrine, "It's just bull#$%^." I can't help but laugh and weep a bit as I confess this. It is pretty absurd, and absurdity is funny. I listen to Matt Chandler on Sunday, and I think, "I could never say that without, in the moment, getting excited and dropping some bomb." Especially the "lesser cuss words" such as, crap, sucks, fricking, etc.
I don't want to get into the area of word meaning. I have heard all the different rationalizations for saying every word possible, and you know what they are all bull... I mean, they are left wanting. The heart flows out of the mouth. Slowly but surely, God is faithfully sanctifying me in this manner.
If you are wondering why I bother to share this. For one, I hope that you will find it funny. I am about sharing my walk toward Jesus, broken and busted up. I want to share the walk, both victories and losses. Also, I feel that after writing a few really nice sounding posts, I feel the desire to make sure that I am not a part of a Christian culture that perpetuates the lie that Christianity is about being perfect. It isn't. It is about Jesus loving me and you despite my being stupid and awful. Amen?
But, this comes to me all the time because this is how I process things. If I have thoughts in my head, I process them by imagining having to speak them in public. The pressure is clarifying, that you would have to make clear what God says is a scary proposal! Right? It is. I am actually not scared (relatively speaking) scared of talking in public. Yet, I have a big reason why I would fear preaching. HA!
The main reason is because I don't think I couldn't cuss while doing so. I know, I know. I write all of this very pure sounding stuff, but don't let that fool you. I have stated once, and will do so again, that I those are excerpts, highly edited and thought out. I am a fallen person just like everyone else. Hallelujah! I have been saved because I am awful, not because I was good.
So, whenever I preach or teach in my head (as a means of processing), I say things no pastor could EVER say. I do it before I even no I have in my mind. I can just imagine myself up there trying to teach someone about the gospel, it gets to some part where admonishment is needed and I say, "Just #$^%$^ stop it." Tactful right? (Moron) Or talking about some false doctrine, "It's just bull#$%^." I can't help but laugh and weep a bit as I confess this. It is pretty absurd, and absurdity is funny. I listen to Matt Chandler on Sunday, and I think, "I could never say that without, in the moment, getting excited and dropping some bomb." Especially the "lesser cuss words" such as, crap, sucks, fricking, etc.
I don't want to get into the area of word meaning. I have heard all the different rationalizations for saying every word possible, and you know what they are all bull... I mean, they are left wanting. The heart flows out of the mouth. Slowly but surely, God is faithfully sanctifying me in this manner.
If you are wondering why I bother to share this. For one, I hope that you will find it funny. I am about sharing my walk toward Jesus, broken and busted up. I want to share the walk, both victories and losses. Also, I feel that after writing a few really nice sounding posts, I feel the desire to make sure that I am not a part of a Christian culture that perpetuates the lie that Christianity is about being perfect. It isn't. It is about Jesus loving me and you despite my being stupid and awful. Amen?
Ha! this is funny - I can certainly imagine you preaching with passion Nick!
ReplyDeleteMaybe when were sitting in church listening to the sermon, and Satin is distracting us with the daftest thoughts (I'm sure I'm not the only one), an unexpected cuss might be just the jolt our attention needs!